Bergen (NJ) PFLAG Events & News

The July 21st chapter meeting will be held from 8pm to 10:00pm, with an earlier session (7:30pm) for newcomers.

For more info, email meetings@BergenPFLAG.org

Photos from Sunday’s Pride Parade in NYC are posted at:

 http://Parade2009.BergenPFLAG.org

If you have photos from the parade that you would like to have included in the slideshow, contact   webmaster@BergenPFLAG.org

The article referred to below WAS published on the Front Page of The Record on Sunday, June 28th (Pride Parade Day) and was quite a large, positive article.  If you missed it, ask a neighbor for their copy of the Sunday paper!!  To read the article on-line, use this link:

http://www.northjersey.com/news/northernnj/Stonewall_started_it.html

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Alfred Doblin, the editorial page editor of The Record, is working on a project marking the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots. He is looking to speak with several young gays and lesbians and talk about what has changed since Stonewall, comparing their experiences with the experiences of gays and lesbians who were in their teens and 20s when Stonewall occurred.

He is also looking for those among us who were in their late teens or early 20s in the late 50s and 60s. If you, or anyone in your family or among your friends would be interested in being interviewed for this project, please contact Mr. Doblin soon — as there is a deadline for this article. 

There were some folks at our chapter meeting last night, where Mr. Doblin spoke to us about this project, who did not know what the “Stonewall riots” were …  emphasizing the importance of this major article to inform younger generations about the history of the gay rights movement.  

In 1969, homosexuality was illegal and prison sentences were given to many who did not hide it. But there were many “underground” bars and meeting places in the West Village of NYC — which were periodically raided by police.  On the weekend of June 27-29, 1969 the Stonewall Inn was raided; but this time, the gays who were there fought back against the police raid with spontaneous, violent demonstrations. Since then, this weekend has been considered by many to be the beginning of the “modern” GLBT pride movement, and is the reason why gay pride parades are scheduled for the last weekend of June in many major cities.  There is an abundance of background information on the internet “web” which you can find by “Googling” for “stonewall riots” – 

Doblin has written extensively on gay/lesbian issues in New Jersey. If you are interested in being part of this project, please contact him, either by e-mail: 

doblin@northjersey.com

or you can call him directly at The Record:

973-569-7084.

Subject:    Question regarding assistance with research study

Dear PFLAG Chapter,

My name is Samantha L. Tornello and I am currently working on a research project with Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson at the University of Virginia to study families headed by gay fathers. I am contacting you to ask if we could advertise our study to your members and let them pass this listing to gay dads they may know. The study consists of an online survey and will take approximately 25- 35 minutes of each participant’s time. To qualify for the study the participant would have to identify as male, a father, and gay, bisexual or homosexual and have at least one child of any age; this child can be biological, adopted, foster, step, or other child. A man does not need to be the child’s legal parent to participate. This study has been approved by the University of Virginia IRB #2008-0407-00. The listing which has been approved for distribution is below (attached) for your review.

If you have any questions or need further information please contact Samantha L. Tornello at GayDadsStudy@gmail.com or at (434) 243-8558. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Samantha L. Tornello, M.A.
University of Virginia
Graduate Student
http://sites.google.com/site/samanthatornello/

Are you a gay dad?  Would you be willing to answer some confidential questions about your life and about your family?  The purpose of this study is to examine the many ways families headed by gay fathers have been created, explore how families function, and learn about the relationship between partners.

The study consists of an online survey and will take approximately 25- 35 minutes of your time.  To qualify for the study you have to identify as male, a father, and gay, bisexual or homosexual and have at least one child of any age; this child can be biological, adopted, foster, step, or other child. You do not need to be the child’s legal parent to participate. This study has been approved by the University of Virginia IRB #2008-0407-00, and I am working with Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson who is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia.

If you and/or your partner are interested in participating or want further information please contact Samantha L. Tornello (Principal Investigator) via email GayDadsStudy@gmail.com.  She will send you a web link that you can use to access the study.

Thank you for your interest and I hope to hear about your family soon!

Sincerely,

Samantha Tornello
Graduate Student
University of Virginia
(434) 243-8558
GayDadsStudy@gmail.com

“Thank them. Don’t shoot them.” This Thursday will be the one-year anniversary of the shooting death of middle-school student Lawrence King.The Safe Schools Coalition has long been troubled that most anti-bullying programs fail to discuss prejudice as a root of some of the most pernicious, ubiquitous, ugly harassment and violence in schools. They don’t talk about racism. They don’t acknowledge misogyny even as they address sexual harassment. They don’t confront xenophobia or examine ableism. And they don’t face the transphobia that leads to tragedies like the shooting of Lawrence King.

This week, let’s all name the transphobia, homophobia and heterosexism in our schools and workplaces … and inside of ourselves. Because we all have it, no matter what our sexual orientation or gender identity. Notice when you laugh at someone’s same-sex valentine grimace. Pay attention to your discomfort at the idea of a guy being soft-spoken. Or of a girl being a jock.

Recognize — if you are relatively mainstream in your gender expression — the privilege you have being able to use the restroom without anyone staring at you or making a rude comment. Appreciate — if you are heterosexual — the bazillion ways as Valentines Day approaches that our culture offers you role models for sexy, healthy, long-term relationships. Appreciate it, talk about it, and commit to working for the day we ALL have those privileges.

And remember, as young Brandon did not, that it is flattering when anyone finds you attractive, whether you return the feelings or not. It is not an insult. It is sweet. Not if they are drunk or obnoxious about it, but if they tell you they want you for their Valentine. Thank them. Don’t shoot them.

~ Beth Reis, for the Safe Schools Coalition

www.safeschoolscoalition.org

Dear Friends….

Have you heard that Ken Starr (yes, that Ken Starr, who wasted tens of millions of our tax dollars on the Monica Lewinsky witchhunt) — and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund — filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and attempting to forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year?

The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, 2009, with a decision expected within the next 90 days.

The Courage Campaign has created a video called “Fidelity,” with the permission of musician Regina Spektor, that puts a face to those 18,000 couples and all loving, committed couples seeking full equality under the law.

Please watch this heartbreaking video:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/Divorce

After you watch the video, please consider joining me in signing the letter to the California Supreme Court and passing this video on to your friends. The more people who see this video, the more people will understand the pain caused by Prop 8 and Ken Starr’s shameful legal proceeding.

Thanks for all you do to make this a better world.

Chris L.

Last week, Rosary Films, a YouTube blogger that often posts short films featuring religious media topics, added an inflammatory film endorsing the Vatican’s “sub secretum” (under secrecy) policy, declaring that “sex-change procedures do not change a person’s gender identity in the eyes of the church.“

[this article is posted on National PFLAG blog; to read entire article click here]

Dutch court rejects appeal by gay Iranian man

Published: Tuesday 11 March 2008 19:53 UTC
Last updated: Wednesday 12 March 2008 16:19 UTC

The Hague - The Council of State, the Netherlands’ highest administrative court, has rejected an appeal filed by Iranian homosexual Mehdi Kazemi against the immigration authorities’ refusal to consider his asylum request. The man fears he will be executed when he returns to Iran, where his boyfriend reportedly named him as his partner before he was executed. Mr Kazemi says his life is also in danger because of the extensive media coverage of his case.

The Council of State rejected his appeal because he had earlier applied for asylum in the UK. Under the EU’s 2003 Dublin Regulation, the country the asylum seeker first enters must process their application. Mr Kazemi’s request for asylum has already been turned down in the UK, where his homosexuality was not considered sufficient grounds to grant him asylum.

Democratic MP Boris Ham has asked Deputy Justice Minister Nebahat Albayrak to discuss the matter with the UK authorities to prevent Mr Kazemi being deported to Iran.
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Full article

Audio news report from Radio Netherlands

European Parliament: protect Iranian homosexual

Published: Wednesday 12 March 2008 21:26 UTC
Last updated: Wednesday 12 March 2008 21:27 UTC

Strasbourg - The European Parliament is demanding that an Iranian homosexual, currently detained in an immigration centre in the Netherlands, receive protection.

The Dutch Council of State rejected Mehdi Kazemi’s appeal for asylum yesterday. Explaining its refusal, the Council cited the EU’s 2003 Dublin Regulation, which states that the country the asylum seeker first enters must process their application. Before he entered the Netherlands, Mr Kazemi’s request was turned down in the UK because his homosexuality was not considered sufficient grounds to grant him asylum.

European MPs are worried that Mr Kazemi will receive the death penalty if he is sent back to Iran. They say that he must not become the victim of European bureaucracy.
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Full article

For Immediate Release: August 1, 2007
Contact: Laurie Wallmark (908) 806-6995

“Families Joined by Love” Launches Website for
Lesbian Mothers, Gay Fathers, and Their Children

RINGOES, NJ—Families Joined by Love today announced the launch of their new website featuring books and resources for LGBT families.

Founder and President Laurie Wallmark hand-selected each title and organized the entire collection by topic, making it easy for families and professionals to find appropriate books. Subjects covered include parenting issues, international adoption, domestic adoption, surrogacy, donor insemination, pregnancy, legal and financial issues, dealing with prejudice, and much more. Books are available for adults, children, and teens.

Laurie is “very excited to be able to present such a wide variety of materials.” Fifteen years ago, she published a small mail-order catalog for gay and lesbian families. However, at that time few titles on LGBT parenting were available, and the lack of widespread Internet access made reaching a large constituency difficult.

“Luckily, I already had a resource that provided a connection with many LGBT families: the “Adoption Book Catalog” that I produced for my old company, Tapestry Books,” said Laurie.

In her years with Tapestry Books, Laurie saw the number of LGBT parents among her customers grow tremendously. “Now, the gay and lesbian parenting community is visible and eager for educational materials,” she explained, “so I knew that the time was right to bring back Families Joined by Love on a much larger scale.”

Laurie collaborated with public policy professional Xan Nowakowski, who serves as the company’s Vice President, to diversify the resources offered through Families Joined by Love. In addition to a comprehensive bookstore with detailed descriptions for each title, the site now includes listings for online and printed resources for LGBT families, materials for press, and a variety of moderated discussion forums.

“We’ve created a very sophisticated resource with the new site,” Xan enthused. “Families Joined by Love gives LGBT individuals not only the opportunity to locate parenting and family building literature, but also a chance to connect with other people who are facing the same challenges.”

To learn more about this exciting new resource for LGBT families, visit Families Joined by Love online at
www.familiesjoinedbylove.com.

Families Joined by Love :: Blue Tree Books ::
PO Box 660 :: Ringoes NJ 08551
(908) 806-6695 (Phone) :: (908) 788-2999 (Fax)

Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres discusses the recent tragic death
of 15-year-old Larry King from Oxnard, CA [click here]

Sunday - March 2nd - 12 noon
Church of the Redeemer [click for map]
36 South Street [about 5 blocks from train station]
Morristown, NJ

Dear Safer Schools Coalition:
Bryce and I attended this Vigil on Sunday, March 2 at the Church of the Redeemer on South Street in Morristown to honor Lawrence King, the middle school student who was shot in the head by a homophobic fellow student and passed away. Those of you leading GSA’s brought your students and took the opportunity to discuss this incident widely.

This is so unfortunate and so sad and now our response becomes so important. We are in a state with an anti-bullying law but it needs to be made stronger. Residents of this small town in California are reeling, thinking it could not happen there. The seeds of homophobia are everywhere - just listen to some of the Presidential candidates - and just read the newspaper. Our children must be protected and we must stand up and say this is unacceptable.

Pamela
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Dear Pamela:
I just wanted to let you know that the Church of the Redeemer (Episcopal)
in Morristown is planning on a vigil to honor Lawrence. They are planning
this for Sunday March 2 at noon. Although it is a church that is
organizing the event (Redeemer is a very gay friendly and supportive
church) it is not a church event.
Thanks so much,

Debra Gottsleben-DeLaney
School Library Media Specialist
Morristown High School